"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels." ~ 2 Timothy 2:20-26
My work in ministry is teaching, and I have come to understand that knowing when to walk away from a 'discussion' has nothing to do with winners and losers. If one is looking for a winner or a loser, it misses the mark in teaching. The goal of teaching is to help another person who wants to understand to understand. The goal is to make the other person the winner as they discover Christ, not oneself. If it becomes confrontational, the one who has wisdom enough to know it has lost its purpose is the wise one. This does not mean that you aren't to defend Scripture or correct or even rebuke because we are told in scripture there is a place and time for it. We are in fact demanded to do these things. Providing answers and correcting is required for believers and ministers, but the goal is to leave something corrected, dispel doubt with answers. Even Jesus knew there was a time to dust His feet and walk away. You have to discern spiritually when that moment has come. The next time you feel a discussion is about to become argumentative in nature simply regress. if it hurts to do so, then you have probably been the one to cause the issue. Perhaps a tone of voice unintended? Or a slight of the eye gave your heart away? Passion for Christ and defending scripture can get away with you if you are not walking in the fruit of the Spirit, self control. When we keep ourselves bridled, then the Lord can lead us. When people want answers they will listen. When people want to be right, they will argue. Even a fool figures out that after awhile he is the only one who is still talking and quiets himself. The temptation to answer back in an argument or return evil for evil is the wood and clay of our flesh. When we choose to walk away we cleanse ourselves of those common things and train ourselves to operate in purity of heart. It is then that the Holy Spirit is making gold and silver out of us, something of value, purpose driven people, and a powerful tool for the Kingdom of God. That should matter most, considering the Kingdom is eventually all that matters and living with that priority in first place pours beauty into everything we say and do. Think wisely and follow after the Holy Spirit.